Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness

Ah, yes. That's been an interesting part of our chamber service training and some webinars, where they tell us to treat it as a mistake first, and then if the other person escalates, to respond to the escalation appropriately. I wonder, sometimes, how much of what we're told to treat as a mistake actually is a mistake and how much of it is us giving someone an easy off-ramp for them to not have to deal with the consequences of them being a jerk.