All of a sudden this evening I'm not going to yoga, I'm going to see Skunk Anansie, a band I know nothing about beyond how cool Skin is.

Three people who should be going instead of me are all too ill, so I'm here having an immune system that works but also I spent the 90s listening to John Coltrane and Muddy Waters and shit, I don't know anything cool. I'm just going because D said "we can snuggle!"

He did deliver on that promise! Lots of snuggles, even though it was way too warm in that venue (even if there wasn't a deadly and disabling airborne pandemic, places should have better ventilation!).

I recognized exactly one song, and I had to keep my eyes closed almost the whole gig because the lights were like perfectly designed to make my nystagmus flare up, but I still had a very fun time!

What a funny introduction to a classic 90s band.

I wanted some Springsteen to help get me through another day of writing a lot (another almost-thousand words today brings me up to almost-6000 in my last five days at work). But it went wrong and gave me a lot of emotions instead.

The Springsteen song "Wrecking Ball" (not the Miley Cyrus one) is perfectly designed to stir the hearts of middle-aged white guys (it's the only song of his I can think of that actually mentions football!) but it also still gives me goosebumps when I hear it, goddammit!

Yeah, we know that come tomorrow
None of this will be here
So hold tight to your anger
Yeah, hold tight to your anger
Hold tight to your anger
And don’t fall to your fears

His early-21st century albums are a balm to my soul these days.

He's of an age by that point to see patterns, the cycles of things ("hard times come and hard times go..." repeated over and over again). Not getting lost in despair, instead keen to bring people together, speak out against what is wrong ("American Skin" feels like the start not the end of this), eyes on the prize which is still ephemeral hope and dreams. But he's got high hopes.

And somehow I forgot, until it came up on shuffle, "Shackled and Drawn." I love "Shackled and Drawn"!

Gambling man rolls the dice, workingman pays the bill
It’s still fat and easy up on banker’s hill
Up on banker’s hill, the party’s going strong
Down here below, we’re shackled and drawn

Shackled and drawn, shackled and drawn
Pick up the rock, son, carry it on
I’m trudging through the dark in a world gone wrong
I woke up this morning shackled and drawn

And its little gospel outro... This is definitely a "blues in the verses, gospel in the choruses" Springsteen classic.

We made it

Dec. 21st, 2024 12:06 am

I got through an impressively annoying day at work, filled fridges and freezers with groceries for Christmas week, and got in a car to be driven to D's sister's for Christmas with his family.

Radio 1 on in the car, as usual, so we heard most of the chart show which was delightfully Christmasy: from Andy Williams and the Ronettes to Laufey and the exciting news, just as we pulled up at D's sister's place, that "Last Christmas" is once again Christmas number one.

Even with his annoying sister, even with another email about drama from my mom's annoying sister that has managed to ensnare me from four thousand miles away it's lovely to here: to be handed a gin and tonic (I had the pink gin and it did indeed taste vaguely Pink), to read a book while the others played a card game my eyes weren't up to (of course I started re-reading Hogfather again) and to finally have metaphorically collapsed over the finish line in to a much-needed break for the next week.

Singing

Dec. 4th, 2024 11:12 pm

I had the radio on while I was working today, as I often do, and I found myself singing along with some version of "The Christmas Song" sung by a breathy soprano.

And I could never sing soprano but today I found my singing voice more resonant (literally buzzing in my chest!). It was easier to sing and it felt better.

(I am impatient for my voice therapy referral to get to the top of the waiting list. I haven't paid any attention to my voice or deliberately attempted anything with it.)

Maybe something about singing a song I'm familiar with made the change extra obvious?

But I love that trans thing of "this is has never happened before but it also feels familiar and normal." Same thing happened when I started getting the fuzzy little hairs on my arms and torso.

After thinking we'd missed out on tickets to see Public Service Broadcasting, D heroically managed to both secure them and register us as a disabled person and carer so we could get to the crip section of the venue. He'd been there before and I hadn't, so he really was a carer.

The most exciting thing for D was that the venue which had previously been notorious among my friends for its terrifying stair-climber to get wheelchair users up its many many stairs now has a lift/elevator! (We were able to get out much more quickly and easily than fighting through the whole crowd by going down those very stairs so I still got to see them and, yep, would not like to navigate them as a wheelchair user in any way. I was very glad I didn't have to walk up them on my dodgy ankle!)

The most exciting thing for me was that the crip area had a drinks runner! Each pair of seats had a little leaflet on it with a few accessibility basics and a menu of what we could order from the bar. co2 numbers were high enough that we wanted to keep our masks on generally but okay-ish enough that we could just about feel okay getting one drink, so we did and it was super cool. Of course I usually have a similar system that involves just sending D to the bar! But it was so nice that he didn't have to do it either. Ethan the drinks runner was quick and cheerful and graceful carrying liquids around in the dark and didn't seem at all perturbed by his job, which helped me feel good about asking him to do it for us.

I tried hard to learn the two most recent PSB albums in about a week (and a week when my phone wasn't working well at anything, including playing music, and also one where I had too many work meetings to listen to anything) and I'm glad I did because very reasonably we heard more of them than we did the three I know -- which I think got about five songs between them.

After a few songs from The Last Flight and at least one or two from Bright Magic, a familiar chord filled my ears and my heart and transported me back to 2018, seeing them at Blue Dot with my friend Bethan and then buying myself a t-shirt as a treat to myself after finishing my first year of uni. The t-shirt has "I believe in progress" written above the three versions of their increasingly-abstract logo from the first three albums -- very clearly a radio telescope at first, it because a sufficiently abstract series of lines and angles in the same shape that it could be animated as pumping water out of a mine in the video played at their gigs when the Welsh coal-mining album was new.

When I wrote about their music like this and looked like this:

Younger me, with an undercut, listening to music and wearing this t-shirt.

So, so many things were different then.

But some of the changes really have been progress.

I've gotten Facebook ads pretty well trained (okay last week it spent a couple of days showing me ads for Armenian citizens living outside Armenia and I'm only one of those two things, but at least that's harmless enough) so I still get a lot of surveys (I did a really interesting one yesterday that I'm hoping will actually help me at work!) and I also get a lot of arts/theatre stuff: dance, museum exhibits, modern opera, a play about the history of labor rights, etc. Mostly it's either things I don't want to do (I'd love to see music performed at Manchester Cathedral, but not "Illuminated Orchestra performs the music of Hans Zimmer") or that I am half interested in but not enough to either go along or subject anyone else to.

But a couple days ago I got an ad for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Live In Concert:

the film presented on a huge HD screen, accompanied by a range of musicians and instrumentalists performing music from the film’s score and soundtrack live to picture. This will include a full orchestra, a scratch DJ on turntables, percussion and electronic instruments.

I've seen a few movies with live music before -- a Charlie Chaplin movie (Modern Times I think) at RNCM, and something at the Bridgewater Hall itself (I remember writing about this and, sure enough, but in all the metaphorical ink I spilled there I never named the goddam movie!). So I both could imagine how this might go but also couldn't, considering it's so much more modern and flamboyant a soundtrack that isn't meant to be performed along with the movie.

I half-jokingly said to our household group chat that this was a good way to get D to see some classical music. We have this running joke where he asks me if everything is Mozart (occasionally including stuff that very definitely is not, like 90s one-hit wonders) and then cackles like a goblin. He's interested in western music theory and history but has consumed these things mostly via YouTube explainers and occasionally choosing the "classical music" option on video game soundtracks (though I have supplemented the latter with "here's why I'm pretty sure this isn't Mozart even if I'm not sure what it is" and like "here's how a symphony tends to work" and stuff like that).

It's because he's been playing video game classical music again recently (with Fallout 76) that I thought to mention this event at all.

And it ended up appealing to him enough that I got tickets yesterday and we went along tonight (V needing to conserve spoons for later this month stayed home with Gary, who luckily was extremely well-behaved and easy to deal with).

I'm used to things I go to at the Bridgewater not being overly popular, but this one was! There weren't many empty seats in the house, and it was not only the first time I'd seen merch being sold there but a very long line beforehand of people wanting to buy it! It was also easily the youngest audience I've seen there, with even little-ish kids accompanying their parents and teenagers attending in pairs or groups. It was baffling but it was also great to see of course.

It was also great that even with so many people, co2 numbers were very low so we could take our masks off, a particularly helpful thing for D who has sensory issues around them. The Bridgewater is never going to be a venue we frequently attend, but knowing it's relatively safe certainly makes me more interested to pay attention to what else is happening there.

We had good seats, only two rows back on the side. The row in front of us had two wheelchair spaces and two ordinary seats (none of which happened to be used on this occasion), so we wondered if we were in a kind of unofficial crip section. The orchestra was set up so we were near the tympani and the chimes and stuff, which I was glad about because it's all the big flashy percussion that takes up a lot of space and is fun and dramatic to watch people play.

D was particularly taken with the tympani. And he said he liked being able to look over during an interesting bit of the music and see the violinists playing frantically or whatever. I think being able to put instruments and motions to the sounds we're accustomed to hearing in modern movie soundtracks is so cool and was definitely part of what I hoped he'd get out of this. We talked about the conductor too, which he noticed giving cues and things rather than just marking time; he said it was the first time he'd observed that.

And it turned out that despite my assumption that I'd seen this movie before, I absolutely had not. So, uh, this was a fun way to watch it for the first time! I did enjoy it but a whole movie starting at 7:30 with an intermission for the musicians to have a well-deserved rest meant we didn't get home until almost 11 which is way after my bedtime. It was a very fun night though, I'm so glad we got to do it.

Well, now I've seen Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band!

Here's the notes I made on my phone during the show.

1) And is the second song of the concert a (minor) favorite of mine that I haven't been able to track down for the playlist that I made for D to "study" from??? Yes. Yes it is. (The song is "Lonesome Day.") ["The Promised Land" is also missing despite repeated attempts to acquire the rest of that album after only half of it made it over from Andrew's hard drives, and that also annoyed me when it got played tonight!]

2) I'm so excited to hear "No Surrender" too. The song that -- when I was finally escaping the feeling we'd now call cringe about having liked him when I was a kid too young to care about taste -- was my way back in to fandom. "We learned more from a three minute record than we ever did in school."

3) I know there are orchestrated E-Street Band versions of songs from Nebraska but I'd never listened to any. Hearing "Atlantic City" now, I'm struck by how the horns and etc. evoke that carnival/boardwalk feel, which is a nice touch. Makes the lyrics even more incongruous.

4) I was not expecting to hear "Darlington County"! I am delighted to hear "Darlington County."

5) At the end of "The River" it just devolved into "ooo"s, sung at the top of his register so sounding unearthly. The melody disappeared, the song disappeared, it was just ooooo. Like it was haunting us(here "us" may be especially those afflicted by catholicism in childhood like I was and like he really was). It sounded a bit like a hymn but maybe more like a Gregorian chant: language I'll never know describing an experience I'll never come closer to having than I am by listening to this description of it.

6) Wow its so funny I never realized its just the Bo Diddley beat under "She's the One". There's so much else going on that I never noticed it!

More later, probably.

I can't remember if I even said here but D's Christmas present for me was finding out about and arranging for us to go to a Bruce Springsteen concert in Sunderland at the end of this month.

When he told me about this, it felt like a million years away but now that it's May, it's "the end of this month."

Wow.

I'm the one who's been a Springsteen fan since I was three and D has very little idea about what his music is like. So I've been saying I'd educate him, but I hadn't started yet. Finally tonight we commenced, with what I always new was going to be the first lesson: Springsteen on Broadway.

When I first saw that, I described the effect it has on me afterwards: "I cried a lot and by the end of it I felt like my soul had been wrung out, washed clean and replaced better than new."

Being solo and acoustic, Springsteen on Broadway doesn't give you a good idea of what Springsteen's songs famously sound like, but I think it should give a person a pretty good idea of what Springsteen is like and I wanted to start there.

We got two-thirds of the way through it before we wanted to call it a night, it's past my bedtime and after "Born in the U.S.A." I was feeling such heavy feelings and then he starts playing "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out" and I'm like oof... To translate: you're going straight from a song about the misery Vietnam veterans and their loved ones experienced in the aftermath of their time in the war, to a song about a dear friend who died and who Springsteen loves in a way that displays the most wholesome masculinity.

Yeah I need either sleep or more beer after that one-two punch. And it is a school night.

But before I left to have a pee and recycle my empty beer bottle, D wanted to show me what he'd written on Discord:

Fuck, I'm watching "Springsteen on Broadway" on Netflix, and he's just such a good storyteller. He's doing "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out" and telling the story of how he met Clarence Clemons, and there are tears in my eyes.

I knew basically fuck all about Springsteen before I watched this and I think I'm in love with him.

I beamed and gave him a double thumbs-up after I'd read this. I told him is the best reaction I could've hoped for. Exactly this.

I've been in love with D for what feels like a long time but I've thought I was in love with Bruce Springsteen even longer, so I'm delighted to see this connection being made.

Radio 1 and 2 DJ Steve Wright has died. It sounded like it was sudden; everyone is saying how shocked they are, and he was only 69.

In 2005, not long after I first came to the UK, I was stony broke and had no friends and a frequently-broken computer (this was before smartphones, so that meant no internet) and a partner who worked all the time when I couldn't so I was alone in our terrible flat all day.

I did have a radio. So I listened to a lot of Radio 2. I read books and wrote too, but I liked the radio because it makes me feel less alone to hear human voices. (I mostly use podcasts for this now. But also all the years I lived with Andrew I had a radio in the kitchen for when I was cooking or cleaning. And now I use that radio to listen to Radio 1 much of my work day.)

We didn't call them parasocial relationships yet but that's what I had with Steve Wright, who did the afternoon show (including Oldies at 3 or whatever it was called, where he'd play requests, which gave me my first experience of feeling truly Old: at 25 or 26, I heard "What's the Frequency Kenneth" as an "oldie" -- something I could understand now but this would've been in 2007 or 8 (I'm certain of this because I remember exactly where I was: having just left work for the day in the job I had then)).

Thanks for keeping a weird lonely guy company, Steve.

"Last Christmas" is the official UK Christmas number one!

(Only four decades late, but better that than ending up in second place again. I guess Sam Ryder made a good-natured joke about always coming in second but, dude, I think Wham notoriously was stymied in second place before you were born. And they didn't even get to host Eurovision the next year anyway, heh.)

After my multi-year campaign to redeem "Last Christmas," I could not be happier with this birthday present.

(But the t-shirt I got from [personal profile] diffrentcolours, which he picked in the brightest color available (orange) and which has a dumbbell on it and says "chonk & stronk," is my second-best birthday present.)

May this be the death of the mean-spirited, boring, arguably-queerphobic #whamageddon!

This year we got rid of "those sausage roll bastards" (as Lee Chaos called Ladbaby on the Doof last night) and "Last Christmas" being what feels like the first "proper" Christmas number one in many years fits right in with that. Because, as Lee pointed out, you never actually hear any of those Ladbaby songs played. No one likes them as songs. Their job isn't to be good songs. Finally we have a good song again, that people are demonstrably actually listening to.

Enough of this shit -- and I include both whamageddon and Ladbaby-type gimmicks in that. Things are shit enough, let's actually try and let's actually get to enjoy things.

This is, after all, a song about improving on the past!

Fuck whamageddon, let's just never speak of it again.

Tomorrow is the first of December. I will be even more stridently against hashtag Whamageddon than last year.

I do think the last few years of not being able to spending it with my family have led to a queer Christmas in the widest possible sense of the word. Like that bell hooks quote: “‘Queer’ is not about who you have sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but ‘queer’ as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.”

From the lord of misrule to mistletoe as an excuse to kiss, Christmas is a kind of liminal time, when the usual rules don't apply, and there isn't inherently but I think there can be something really queer about that.

"Last Christmas" is, interestingly, barely about Christmas at all. It's about a year of heartbreak and growth. Christmas bookends the story but the song is about what happens in between. The intervening time seems to have been used for reframing: even if the person is still irresistible, they're now understood to be poor relationship material ("My God, I thought you were someone to rely on / Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on.")

Which, also, seems pretty queer to me. Not that cishet people can't lust after someone unsuitable for long-term relationships, but again there's something about being at odds with the world around you, having to invent and create the places that suit you.

I hardly slept at all last night -- lethal combination of bad mental health for both me and Gary -- which left me so tired I could barely function today.

But it worked out okay.

  • I had a chill easy work day, where I could do some important stuff without spending a lot of time on it.
  • This meant I could get some useful stuff done this afternoon: D and I ran errands to the post office, Boots because both Gary and I needed meds (he has hay fever and can take human allergy meds as long as I get the right kind! the vet said I can get them there but they're cheaper from a pharmacy), and Martins for sandwiches for lunch.
  • At Martins, we ended up talking to the staff about how people describe the cakes they want in the glass cases. One told us the proper names, the only one I remember is one's a bavarian. Gesturing at another, the other staff member told us "That gets called the square one, the custard one..." They were very genial about it. Just as we left, one told a story about a lady who's come in every week for sixteen years and every time says "I'll have two barbarians." All that time, two barbarians. I love that.
  • On the way back home, we stopped at a yard sale we'd seen on the way. I went to so many yard sales with my grandma when I was little. She liked them anyway and I was excited at the kind of stuff that could be bought for a quarter. I've been thinking about her so much lately that it seemed appropriate to visit one. All the dishes and crystal looked like they could've come from her cupboards, or my mom's. It made me so happy to see that kind of stuff again.
  • I was really sad about not feeling up to going to see the new Spidermovie like we'd planned (it's so rare that all three of us get to do things together) but I assured the others I was fine with them going without me and they ended up saying it would've been really difficult for me because apparently it's a really flashy/strobey movie. With my nystagmus being so bad already from the lack of sleep today, this is the last thing I needed.
  • And I actually had a great time while they were out. I sat in the garden with cold drinks, I made dinner, I walked the dog and played with him, I listened to podcasts because the aforementioned nystagmus meant I couldn't read or look at my phone much.
  • Janelle Monáe's new album came out today! Thanks to lovely [personal profile] diffrentcolours buying it and putting it on the file server, I can play it already on my phone. Even though I'd already gone to bed by that point. It sounds like bed is an appropriate place to enjoy The Age of Pleasure anyway!

Gary has settled down easily today, but my own mental health is no better disposed towards sleeping than it was last night, unfortunately. I'm so bored of spending time awake in bed. It feels so lonely.

Croatia was my favorite last night and the more I learn about the act and their performance the more there is to like.

Even if you don't care about Eurovision, it's a great way to get a broader audience for stuff like this.

Eurovision fans outside the post-Yugoslav region have been getting to know a band who were using their art to mock and shock repressive social forces even before Croatia became independent from Yugoslavia in 1991....

By the time Let 3 appeared on Dora, in other words, Croatian viewers had a frame of reference going back more than thirty years for making sense of their uniforms, inflatable missiles and salutes (and for wondering what was going to be under those uniforms when they inevitably came off). While their lyrics describe militarism and machismo, the band’s profile as musicians and their subcultural positioning has already resolved what would otherwise be the ambiguity of where they stand.

Like all ambiguous art which questions the allure of military power by placing its style and symbols up front, how well ‘MAMA ŠČ!’ can convey its messages depends on how far the audience realise how the band are inviting them to respond, and what they need to know about them to form that interpretation.

Pro-LGBTQ+ stances and anti-militarism go together in Let 3’s military drag because, according to the politics the band have expressed for more than thirty years, patriarchy, homophobia and male insecurity are root causes of militarism, nationalism and war.

Let 3’s mockery of drag dictators, however, starts at home – where they have been standing up to militaristic, nationalistic, and aggressively heterosexual ideals of masculine leadership in their own context for so long that ‘home’ used to be a different state.

Arriving in Liverpool, Let 3 and their tractor have touched down in a country where the forces that want to criminalise drag internationally are gaining ground, drag queen story hours in public libraries are being threatened by the far right, the equalities minister has met approvingly with the governor of the US state passing the widest suite of anti-trans laws, and the UN’s independent expert on sexual orientation and gender identity, Victor Madrigal-Borloz, has just been hearing from trans people across the country about how politicians and the media are whipping up fear against them during his own visit to the UK.

Let 3’s art may not be for everyone, but the freedom to make it for anyone is the same freedom that lets Eurovision itself be a place of safety for LGBTQ+ fans – and one of the first freedoms that the dictators lampooned in ‘MAMA ŠČ!’ have struck against.

By December first this year, when friends started posting about #Whamageddon, I was already feeling personally offended. I had shown them how to live a life beyond Whamageddon! In posts made just before midnight on Facebook which won't show them to all my friends anyway! How dare they not have seen them, agreed with them, and changed their ways by the next afternoon?!

Heh.

How did this happen to me? How did I go from not knowing about Whamageddon to not caring about it for a couple of years to being vehemently opposed by this year?

Well, some time in December 2020, I think it was [personal profile] strange_complex who I saw saying online that she didn't like Whamageddon. I think I remember that it made her sad, because "Last Christmas" is a nice song and she didn't like missing out on it.

This was the first time I started to wonder about this game.

Whamageddon, for those who don't know what it is, is a "game" that consists solely of people complaining on social media (or elsewhere I guess!) when a nice thing happens to them.

Okay I'm not being fair. Like I said, I've been radicalized these last couple years.

Whamageddon is an attempt not to hear Wham!'s song "Last Christmas" from the beginning of December until the end of Christmas Eve. Once you hear it (on the radio or n a store or because your friend has maliciously tricked you), you lose the game, you are sent to "Whamhalla."

The Whamifesto gets long. )

Anyway, if you want revenge games to play, I have found two over the last couple of years: #ReverseWhammageddon where it's actually good to hear "Last Christmas," and #Bublévion because if you want a Christmas-song-avoidance game, Michael Bublé provides both a much easier and much more rewarding (it really does feel like an accomplishment to turn off the radio when one of his songs appears!) version. I got the rules of both from social media, and I will include them here.

#ReverseWhammageddon )

#Bublévion )

Thanks for reading.

I started reading this delightful article yesterday.
most linguistic changes of this sort aren't random or arbitrary - there is usually a reason that sound changes happen, and a reason that they spread as well. The spread of "may" and "babay" doesn't seem to be caused by random innovation - it's a daisy chain of influence from disparate genres and peoples all reaching their zenith in the massive pop moment of the 90s.
I say "started" because it's long, and also because I got so excited halfway through I had to stop and do a little infodump at my lovely patient family to tell them about HAPPY-laxing (specifically in Manchester accents).

The article is impressively thorough, in both the linguistics and the music history of who sang like this (I'm sure I recognize Lefty Frizzell's name from Andrew's podcast, or at least from Andrew mentioning it. But that section of this article is reminiscent of the patient, relentless research I remember from his podcast anyway.)

The article ends by noting some lamentation or surprise (in an article I liked much less on the same topic; it was less accurate and more needlessly unkind in a standardized language ideology kind of way) that the linguistics of pop music hasn't been studied much. I would be surprised if it hadn't been actually, but I'm not surprised we don't know about it. I hope it wends its way out of academia and into public consciousness some day.
[personal profile] diffrentcolours showed us the trailer for Lizzo's Watch Out for the Big Grrrls a little while ago and I've been excited to see it ever since.

Much as I wish she didn't have to resort to this gimmick just to find some fat dancers (she does, because they can't get agents or representation so even when she's actively seeking them out they don't have the connections to allow themselves to be found), it is great to bathe in a show full of women, full of people who aren't white...the energy is so different. And it's not really competitive: there are as many slots as there are girls in the "house," people don't get eliminated every week.

We just watched the second episode tonight, and it has a marching band! I never did dance (wanted to, wasn't allowed), I didn't expect to relate to this show but...marching band was the best thing I did in high school. I had a great band teacher and I had such transcendent experiences marching.

I love how Lizzo gets it. She talks about how marching band is just another way to wear a uniform and get sweaty and learn choreography and all that. When I announced that I wanna play "Good as Hell" in a marching band, [personal profile] diffrentcolours showed me this video, which I had somehow never seen before!
As I left work yesterday, the people replacing the bathroom were working outside the front door (a bit of sawdust zoomed around my glasses to get in my eye), and I heard "...'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking" and smiled to realize that builders are still listening to the radio.

On my walk back, I was almost home when I heard another radio near some other builders working on a house; this time I heard "oh yeah, life goes on..." and my first thought -- well my first thought might have been wow, this kind of radio never changes does it but my second thought was of my dad, who changes one of the names in this song's title to make it match his and my mom's names. It's such a dad-joke thing and I love it so much and I miss my parents so much.

My third thought was I am not going to cry at a John Mellencamp song, goddammit.

And I didn't. But it's not usually such a close-run thing!
Yesterday when he was giving me a lift to work in the sunshine, [personal profile] diffrentcolours said if it's this nice tomorrow, we could maybe go sit outside the pub that I guess is my local now. I never had in the year I'd lived here; we'd only recently ascertained that it has outdoor seating.

It was as nice today, so we did go. And, seeing the place was near-empty (two or three other people who were about to leave as we went to sit down) when we were ordering our pints, and since it was only a couple of degrees above freezing, we sat inside!

Amazing. I think my second time in a pub in the last almost-two-years. I love pubs. I was delighted to see the boring ads, look at a muted TV full of football scores, listen to a very generic playlist I never would've chosen myself. I wouldn't say I like these things, of course, but I feel good around them.

Of course with the whole place to choose from, an old Irish man sat down near us. He asked if we like music, perhaps after seeing me mouth along the words of the song that was playing ("Harvest Moon," and I was just thinking a couple nights ago about how much I detest Neil Young but I still know all the words so...).

We ended up trying to explain Lizzo to him, since I was wearing my Lizzo t-shirt. He's definitely convinced her name is Lizard despite it being in big letters on my shirt and us repeatedly telling him.

I do hope he goes and tells his 11-year-old granddaughter that he's learned about a musician named Lizard. It's just the kind of thing your grandpa should be telling you when you're eleven, I feel.
Spotify Unwrapped, the personal stats on how people who listen to stuff with a particular program did that, was all the rage on my social media when it came out the other day. (So early! There's still one-twelfth of the year left! I'm sure it gets earlier every year eh.)

Mine didn't work. I was very amused. Mine is just a few screens worth of plain colors that crashes the whole app every time I try to look at it. I said "I can only assume my year in music is too powerful for anyone to know about," but a friend said they had the same rsdilt because they'd turned off animations on Android. No doubt I've done the the same (I don't remember that being an option, but it's going to be one of the things I do immediately, thus I forget it's even possible for the world to be otherwise). Nice to know they've made it inaccessible as well as all the other reasons my social media came up with to declare it Problematic (which mostly have to do with surveillance capitalism and how terrible Spotify is at paying artists whose music you stream, etc.).

One of my friends who doesn't use Spotify and really hated hearing about this so much said, "part of the issue is that by releasing stats about your spotify usage is that it reasserts that spotify *is* music. By saying that you listen to x artist x amount of time that is (hopefully obviously) only on spotify and doesn't take into account when you listen to them on vinyl, on the radio, other services, etc etc. But people love numbers and so those stats kind of become canonical. In a way it's not unlike how some people think of facebook as the internet, which is not an accident."

It's an interesting I didn't want to tell him he's wrong but I was really surprised by that, maybe because it's not how I think of Spotify at all.

I only listened to Spotify for like 3,000 minutes this year or something. Which makes sense: Spotify is minor for me. Most of my listening comes from BBC 6music (especially my beloved RadMac, and Cerys), Radio 1 and CDs in the car (New Model Army, Billie Eilish, Marina from "the Diamonds"...I can't remember what else) and the virtual DJ night we tune into almost every Thursday (and random other times -- last week they celebrated having done 100 shows since the pandemic started!).

Spotify is music for a use: ambient is always my biggest genre because I put on random playlists of it when I'm doing reading or writing work (and also playlists [personal profile] hafnia curates this year, as an anxiety-management thing). I played an 80s playlist while I was painting the front room and the shed and pulling weeds at [personal profile] haggis's house this summer, so it thinks "Sledgehammer" is a big song from my year even though I don't like it at all. It thinks random ambient tracks I don't have clear memories of ever hearing before are among my most-played songs too. The relatively-few minutes listening make for these weird, meaningless superlatives so I don't put too much stock in them.

At the same time, looking at my "top songs" of the year, I notice with a pang of sadness that it doesn't have any of one thing that featured prominently in my "top songs of 2021": songs both Andrew and I like that we listened to together. Lots of R.E.M. and stuff.

The top songs playlist is interesting. As well as the random 80s songs and the random ambient tracks, there's a song I got from the Doof ("Goose Goose Revolution"). There's some Eurovision stuff (I loved "Je Me Caase," the Lizzoesque song from Malta, Efendi from Azerbaijan (though I prefer 2020's "Cleopatra" to 2021's "Mata Hari"), and especially Jeangu Macrooy who represented the Netherlands with the criminally underrated "Birth of a New Age" but it turns out I like other songs of his too. There's a couple of new albums from this year, Montero and a new one from old favorite The Hold Steady. There's a Cosmo Sheldrake track that I discovered while Cosmo was still the name I was using! A year is a long time.

[327/365]

Nov. 23rd, 2021 05:09 pm
I've had an obnoxiously busy and wholesome day.

I woke up early again, boo, but 5:30 isn't as bad when I was asleep before midnight. I at least went to bed early, though then of course it still took me ages to get to sleep. I got bored of trying to fall back asleep and finally did the first in a series of YouTube strength-training videos a friend recommended to me literal months ago. I'd tried to do YouTube exercise early in the pandemic and it just wasn't working, and every so often I'd check in with whether it seemed like any better an idea, and it never did, until now. I'm not sure what's changed now but I'm glad of it. I absolutely feel like I could do the next one tomorrow, but I might not, and I hope I will be okay either way.

Once again the endorphins afterwards made me feel like king of the world and after biking to work yesterday (I biked to work! and back! with no more than the expected amount of nonsense perpetrated against me by cars! it was so quick I felt weird about how late I'd left and I got back before it was dark (just)), and doing swimming and cycling over the weekend, I'm in real danger of turning into one of those exercise-all-the-time assholes now!

I'd done the exercise partly because I woke up thinking I should have a shower and I really didn't want to; after 40 minutes of strength training I really did want to! So that was nice. I needed two breakfasts after it: granola with blueberries and cream, and then toast with peanut butter and banana. And I did a big rant about ableism, not worth repeating here but it was satisfying at the time.

Just as I was about to leave to go see a friend I haven't seen since way before the pandemic started, he messaged to say something had come up and he couldn't do today. Feeling a bit bereft of plans then, I tried to tackle some long-overdue shit on my to-do list. I found one address I need to send something to, still not sure about another one. I asked [personal profile] diffrentcolours to make the printer work so I could print off a form that I had to take to a bank, cycled there and had a completely frustrating and pointless time. I guess "I didn't get hit by cars and it wasn't quite raining" are my wins for that one today? It was a lot of effort for nothing getting done, but I'm really happy I didn't have to walk; it would've taken so much longer and the walk back would've been so grumpy.

When I got home I watched the Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band 1979 No Nukes concert blu ray that [personal profile] diffrentcolours got me as a "I know the end of November is a tough time for you" present, which was really sweet. What a novelty, to get a Springsteen present from the non-Springsteen boyfriend! It meant he got to be concerned that I might not like it, while Stuart probably would've been sure that I would. 1979 is such a good time for Springsteen, there's so much stuff I like that's later of course but there's a lot I don't mixed in with that; at this point I can just loudly and gleefully sing along with almost everything, and of course I did since it was only me and Gary watching.

Tonight we have a "ticket" to the live stream of a comedy gig Bethany Black is doing in support of some kind of union/HR department for stand-up comics, which sounds sorely needed. We're all looking forward to it; it may not be the same as in-person events but honestly it has a lot of the same vibe in this household.

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the cosmolinguist

May 2025

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