I had a horrible night, but on the plus side I found out the day bed is pretty comfy to sleep on, except for the dog who insisted on sitting right in the middle of it. I woke up squished against the wall and with him stealing the blanket. He didn't move all night. I say "night" but we were there from about 3am until my alarm went off at 9:30, bookended by Incidents of aggression.
I'm so tired.
I was getting up for a volunteering thing, in person this time, and I enjoyed the novelty of getting a train to the airport. Just to its train/tram station, where I got to be filmed pretending to get on and off them. Well, we really did get on and off of course, we just did them all in quick succession before the trains or trams went their own way. It's silly work but I'll get paid for it. And it's a close-knit group I've only joined about six months ago so they were all happy to see each other in person again and I was happy to listen more than I talked for once. It was weird being in the airport again, or near enough to hear the announcements: "to reduce the number of security alerts, please keep your luggage with you at all times." I always hate being in that airport when I'm flying from it but today I hated it because I wasn't. Trying to imagine the possibility of seeing my family for Christmas feels surreal: way too close and impossibly long to wait at the same time.
As I was waiting for my train home, I saw an email saying I was unsuccessful in my job interview yesterday and suddenly I felt like throwing my phone onto the track ahead of me. I feel like I used up all my luck at the beginning of the year; I haven't been able to catch a fucking break since then. My big achievement for the summer will be ending it with two front teeth again, that's just getting me back to baseline. Job applications and interviews are grinding me down. Other stuff I don't want to talk about here is fucking grim. What is the point of me trying to do anything.
I don't know, but I keep doing it anyway. I helped throw the Tesco delivery into bags when it arrived. I walked the dog. And I went to see Stuart, which was much overdue and really good even though all we did was I told him everything shitty that's happened to me and he told me a really shitty thing that's happened to him. It's so good to see people you love and who love you though, isn't it. I made dinner (pizza and salad, easiest dinner, thank goodness). We watched some more Schitt's Creek, including an episode that hit me in the feels which is very unfair from my current go-to source of brainless fun. It was good though.
This week has been so demanding that I feel strange that I have to go to work tomorrow...and even stranger that I haven't been to work yet this week.
I'm so tired.
I was getting up for a volunteering thing, in person this time, and I enjoyed the novelty of getting a train to the airport. Just to its train/tram station, where I got to be filmed pretending to get on and off them. Well, we really did get on and off of course, we just did them all in quick succession before the trains or trams went their own way. It's silly work but I'll get paid for it. And it's a close-knit group I've only joined about six months ago so they were all happy to see each other in person again and I was happy to listen more than I talked for once. It was weird being in the airport again, or near enough to hear the announcements: "to reduce the number of security alerts, please keep your luggage with you at all times." I always hate being in that airport when I'm flying from it but today I hated it because I wasn't. Trying to imagine the possibility of seeing my family for Christmas feels surreal: way too close and impossibly long to wait at the same time.
As I was waiting for my train home, I saw an email saying I was unsuccessful in my job interview yesterday and suddenly I felt like throwing my phone onto the track ahead of me. I feel like I used up all my luck at the beginning of the year; I haven't been able to catch a fucking break since then. My big achievement for the summer will be ending it with two front teeth again, that's just getting me back to baseline. Job applications and interviews are grinding me down. Other stuff I don't want to talk about here is fucking grim. What is the point of me trying to do anything.
I don't know, but I keep doing it anyway. I helped throw the Tesco delivery into bags when it arrived. I walked the dog. And I went to see Stuart, which was much overdue and really good even though all we did was I told him everything shitty that's happened to me and he told me a really shitty thing that's happened to him. It's so good to see people you love and who love you though, isn't it. I made dinner (pizza and salad, easiest dinner, thank goodness). We watched some more Schitt's Creek, including an episode that hit me in the feels which is very unfair from my current go-to source of brainless fun. It was good though.
This week has been so demanding that I feel strange that I have to go to work tomorrow...and even stranger that I haven't been to work yet this week.