Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness

At the end of our chat today, a workmate's support worker wished me a good holiday since they weren't expecting to talk to me before I'm off -- tomorrow until Tuesday -- and since said workmate is getting married on Saturday I wished her well too.

She only just told us last week that she's getting married -- well actually she told us that she'll be off during our Workpocalypse next week because she'll be on honeymoon, and the rest of the team had to go "wait a minute! honeymoon? that's the kind of thing people do after a wedding!" She's normally fairly outgoing and silly but this has for whatever reason left her mortified. When she fessed up it was just her, me and two others on the call, and those two were squeeing about how lovely and exciting this was, but I couldn't help holding back because I was getting such a different vibe from her: she clearly is happy with her partner and with being married to him, but the process of getting married has made her uncomfortable and I could totally appreciate that (in a way I didn't want to say out loud because no one at work seems to think of me as ever having been a young woman and it would've derailed things into an entirely different but even more awkward cul-de-sac if I'd tried to commiserate at this point).

Like, she said people kept asking her what her ideal wedding would be like, and she said "Me, in a stationery cupboard, by myself!"

So we've done the traditional whip-round for a gift and signed a virtual card. I wrote in the card that I hope she gets her wish of being able to get married all by herself and not to worry about work. I was only the second person to do so and the first had just squeed.

I happened to mention the card, which she'll get tomorrow -- I wouldn't normally but I didn't want her to be too embarrassed about it or pressured to react in any particular way to the rest of the team. I said that I wrote I hope she gets her wish of getting married without being perceived by anyone.

She replied "Oh! That is the nicest thing anyone has told me," but in the most warm and genuine way.

I hope she isn't feeling too much pressure to perform Excited Young Lady. Glad I could give her a little reminder that it's okay to not want to be the center of all this intensity and energy and expectations.