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cosmolinguistI spent this morning feeling overwhelmed by a bunch of little things, most of which I'd let slide before the weekend away, but one or two new/developing ones too.
My volunteering is a Lot at the moment, I tried to apply for a job and for technical reasons I'm not even sure if it worked, work is being very demanding... There's just so much happening.
And I felt really unsettled and then realized that while there were a couple of emails I could send or texts I could reply to, a lot of it is just up in the air now and waiting on other people and there's nothing I could do. So I had this real "I'm failing, I'm not doing stuff" feeling that ended up mostly being incorrect. I can't do the stuff. Which is differently frustrating but did help to realize.
Last week I had a weirdly vivid dream (this will be relevant in a minute I promise, bear with me) being in a restaurant with Stuart and some other people, where the person taking our order was being really ableist towards him: pretending to misunderstand him and getting him so flustered that his ability to communicate really did suffer just as she had been pretending it did. (And then even though I challenged this on the spot, she also pretended to misunderstand me when I accidentally said "French toast" instead of "French bread"!) I dreamed about making a detailed complaint to a manager.
I woke up from this musing that this seems to be a thing lately: dreaming both disability discrimination and then me raising hell about it.
And this seems as good a way as any to say, without giving away anyone else's private information, that an occurrence that very same day was different in every detail yet underlyingly similar in this "someone I love has been discriminated against, let's go!" way. So this evening when I got home from work I helpedmother_bones with a phone appointment, which went well but was still exhausting.
To celebrate getting through that, I made the broccoli halloumi thing for dinner, which was perfect because we all love it so it was like a little treat, and it's incredibly easy (especially because this time I had pre-chopped broccoli florets! so it was even quicker to throw together).
The day is definitely ending better than it began. Gary went so abruptly from being completely mithery to just curling up in his crate that it was like someone had flipped a switch in his brain, and we watched another episode of Watch Out for the Big Grrrls -- only the one, though. It's taking us forever to get through this eight-episode series because not only do we all have to be in the same room at the same time (something Gary often doesn't allow in the evenings!), we have to all be in the mood for Emotions at the same time, and we have to talk about it afterward to decompress. For all I like TV being ignoreable background noise, I love this kind of thing where it feels like a real Event.
My volunteering is a Lot at the moment, I tried to apply for a job and for technical reasons I'm not even sure if it worked, work is being very demanding... There's just so much happening.
And I felt really unsettled and then realized that while there were a couple of emails I could send or texts I could reply to, a lot of it is just up in the air now and waiting on other people and there's nothing I could do. So I had this real "I'm failing, I'm not doing stuff" feeling that ended up mostly being incorrect. I can't do the stuff. Which is differently frustrating but did help to realize.
Last week I had a weirdly vivid dream (this will be relevant in a minute I promise, bear with me) being in a restaurant with Stuart and some other people, where the person taking our order was being really ableist towards him: pretending to misunderstand him and getting him so flustered that his ability to communicate really did suffer just as she had been pretending it did. (And then even though I challenged this on the spot, she also pretended to misunderstand me when I accidentally said "French toast" instead of "French bread"!) I dreamed about making a detailed complaint to a manager.
I woke up from this musing that this seems to be a thing lately: dreaming both disability discrimination and then me raising hell about it.
And this seems as good a way as any to say, without giving away anyone else's private information, that an occurrence that very same day was different in every detail yet underlyingly similar in this "someone I love has been discriminated against, let's go!" way. So this evening when I got home from work I helped
mother_bones with a phone appointment, which went well but was still exhausting.To celebrate getting through that, I made the broccoli halloumi thing for dinner, which was perfect because we all love it so it was like a little treat, and it's incredibly easy (especially because this time I had pre-chopped broccoli florets! so it was even quicker to throw together).
The day is definitely ending better than it began. Gary went so abruptly from being completely mithery to just curling up in his crate that it was like someone had flipped a switch in his brain, and we watched another episode of Watch Out for the Big Grrrls -- only the one, though. It's taking us forever to get through this eight-episode series because not only do we all have to be in the same room at the same time (something Gary often doesn't allow in the evenings!), we have to all be in the mood for Emotions at the same time, and we have to talk about it afterward to decompress. For all I like TV being ignoreable background noise, I love this kind of thing where it feels like a real Event.