Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness

I can never remember which one's "adductor" and which one's "abductor," but now one of those is the machine in the gym that's for practicing to crush a watermelon between your thighs, and I think after I described it thusly to him tonight, that's what diffrentcolours and I are gonna be calling it from now on.

After that I started explaining all the machines in terms of watermelons. "This one's lifting watermelons, this one's punching watermelons..."