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cosmolinguistI got an interview for that job I really want.
And I've been consumed with anxiety since I found out this afternoon. I know it should be good news but...there's so much to be anxious about. I haven't had a successful job interview since 2012 and I've had lots of failed ones since. I'm having a horrible depressive patch right now so I'm pretty sure I have absolutely no good qualities, which seems like a difficult starting point from which to convince other people that I do. I'm intimidated by having to do "an hour-long task" as part of the interview; I've never had that before. I hate that it's on Teams, which my laptop is way worse at than Zoom and which is less accessible to me.
Job applications and job interviews just leave my mental health shredded to bits.
And I've been consumed with anxiety since I found out this afternoon. I know it should be good news but...there's so much to be anxious about. I haven't had a successful job interview since 2012 and I've had lots of failed ones since. I'm having a horrible depressive patch right now so I'm pretty sure I have absolutely no good qualities, which seems like a difficult starting point from which to convince other people that I do. I'm intimidated by having to do "an hour-long task" as part of the interview; I've never had that before. I hate that it's on Teams, which my laptop is way worse at than Zoom and which is less accessible to me.
Job applications and job interviews just leave my mental health shredded to bits.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-04 09:17 pm (UTC)That sounds incredibly familiar, and might be a starting point for a good interview - you can ask at the 'do you have any questions' stage whether they do everything on Teams, or whether they use Zoom, and explain that it's an accessibility issue for you. You could even email them before hand about it - it's a perfectly legitimate adjustment to ask for, under the circs.
Also remember that it's you also interviewing them to see if you want to work with them in this role. You may know them through other things, but do you want to work with them on this. Again, if they can't cope with your depressed self, then it may not be a good fit.
It costs a lot to do recruitment - several thousand pounds if it's gone to advert in the press - and so they want to get it right. You have a huge amount to offer any jobs - you're intelligent, you've just completed a degree as a mature student during a pandemic, and that shows dedication and commitment, you think about what you're doing and why, and you're awesome.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-04 09:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-04 10:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-04 09:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-04 09:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-04 11:08 pm (UTC)If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. I could for example invite you to Teams to practice/play if useful to familiarise yourself with the shitting thing.
Thinking of you. Hoping you can get your brain to cooperate cos you are awesome.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 04:29 pm (UTC)I don't think they will change it, it's a place I volunteer for and all their stuff in integrated in Microsoft. And I don't expect it'll make that much difference;; asking for something else will probably cause me as much anxiety as just sucking it up and using Teams, if you see what I mean.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 01:37 am (UTC)I hope there's a way to feel good about yourself in this process, whatever the outcome is.
Also, Teams bites hard.
A real thing you probably know about is to crowd-source good qualities for yourself when you don't feel you can identify them personally -- they say to do that when writing your own bios, etc. -- just to say that I'm happy to participate in listing strengths based on your writing here if you are looking for some touchstones or seeds.
Otherwise, just rooting for you -- for a job, sure, but mostly for cherishing your excellent self.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 04:32 pm (UTC)Yeah, this is what I'm after too, and it helps to remember that. I honestly can't imagine getting the job but I can't imagine not getting it either? Trying to think about either possibility is just making me feel miserable now, and I am sure that will stop, but I hope it stops really soon. :)
'm happy to participate in listing strengths based on your writing here if you are looking for some touchstones or seeds.
That is such a nice offer, and a nice idea. I do have
It is probably some help, even though I still feel miserable.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-06 04:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 08:54 am (UTC)I hope the evil brain weasels quiet down and it goes well. Best of luck!
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 04:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 09:41 am (UTC)And hoping the HeadWeasels quieten down
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 04:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 10:25 am (UTC)This is an absolutely wonderful exposition on how the Apollo Guidance Computer worked. You don't need to be a computer programmer to get 95% of it (lots of non-programmers have enjoyed it) and I listened to it with the visuals off and didn't feel I was missing anything, so I think it should be accessible to you.
https://youtu.be/B1J2RMorJXM
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 04:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 02:48 pm (UTC)You have many good qualities that will be an asset to the place you want to work. The ability to convince people not to be jerks to people with disabilities, for one.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-05 04:34 pm (UTC)Thank you. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-06 07:33 am (UTC)Sending lots of love, dear Cosmo. This really resonates with me as an anxiety sufferer. I really hope you can get the necessary access support and they can reconsider using something other than Teams. <3